Don't Kill The Human
by CullenNHaleMenUJustCantGetEnuf
Summary: What happens when a few humans are talking about 'tapping that' Rosalie around Emmett? Or stealing Jasper from Alice? Title explains everything. plz R&R! takes place in Hoquaim many years after Bella is changed.
1. Emmett

**A/N: Okay, we know we should work on KOD, but we told you all that we're putting it on the back burner and this one is just a short little story, that is already finished. Flotsum (**_IStarEdwardCullen1221_**, Jinx (**_JasperisMYeverything_**, Ezzy (**Psychotic Female of Many Names**, and Rosey (**EmmettIsMYGiantTeddyBear

**came up with the idea. Also since there are a few places where Emmett is sarcastic so we typed them underlined. Texts have the little stars around them. **

**Disclaimer: We don't own any of Mrs. Meyer's characters but we do own the two (OC) guys and Professor Dummer in this chapter. **

**Emmett's POV**

"Who can tell me what the passage I just read means?" Professor Dummer asked our class. I rolled my eyes; I could tell her _but why ruin the fun of listening to the humans babble_

I was incredibly bored seeing as Rosalie's phone died today during lunch so I couldn't text her. I was about to text Jasper and Edward when I caught part of a conversation concerning my wife's outfit today.

"Damn, man did you see that Hale girls' outfit today? She looks smoking hott!"

"Yea dude, she always smoking hott but damn! That skirt!!" I had to swallow a growl. "And her shirt! Damn, Cullen is one lucky bastard!" I had to agree there; I'm the luckiest man alive, or dead or whatever.

"Yea man, I would give anything for a chance to tap that."

_Don't kill the human don't kill the human. Think of Rose and the family. Don't kill the human._ I was about to excuse my self from class when I got a text from Edward.

Emmett, do we need 2 skip 6th period & go huntin?

I quickly replied.

No y? Less then twenty seconds later I had an answer.

Cuz I was scanning thots & cot urs. Which was don't kill the human over & over

O. no. there was just a cuple of guys talking bout roses outfit. N 'tappin' that.

I heard Edward laugh from across the room. I growled so low only he could hear it.

Sorry Emmett. I kno its not funny. I didn't reply.

"Mr. Cullen! Could you perhaps tell us the reason why Lady Macbeth kept washing her hands?" Professor Dummer asked.

"Uh, me or my brother ma'am?" I politely asked.

"How about you." She smiled. I could tell she didn't think I've read this far. If only she knew.

"Yes, ma'am."

**Fin Chapter**

**A/N: Okay so there's the first chappie. What do you think? If you review you get updates!! P.s. We've already finished it so if you review you'll get updates!! **

**Flotsum & Jinx**

**PS we're changing our name to:**

**CullenNHaleMenUJustCantGetEnuf**


	2. Edward

**A/N: okay here's the next chappie. **

**Disclaimer: We don't own the Cullen's but we do own Alex, and Professor Dummer!**

**Edwards POV**

"Yes ma'am." I heard Emmett say to our English professor. Since I was so bored I decided to scan the minds of the humans around me to make sure none were even the least bit suspicious.

_Stupid Cullen's they're always right! _

_I think I should dye my hair blond. I'm so hott that it'll look good._

'_Bella I love you.'_

'_Oh, Alex, I love you too.' _I growled that damn Hawkenson kid is fantasizing about MY Bella. He is nearly as bad as Newton was.

_Don't kill the human. Don't kill the human. Don't kill the human. _

I jumped when Emmett's hand touched my shoulder.

"Edward you okay?" he asked looking worried.

"Sure why?" I said clearing my head and standing.

"Because you the bell rang almost three minutes ago and I could hear you muttering 'don't kill the human.' He said with a laugh.

**Fin Chapter**

**A/N: I know this chapter is short, but the next one will be longer. Plus this story is done so if you review you'll get updates! We think we should have a grand total of 10 reviews before we update. Remember the story is already finished and typed up…**

**Flotsum & Jinx**

**Thanks to: ****LittleMissCullen**, **HoneyBunch3**, **Em'sGirl23**

**Our wonderful reviewers!!**


	3. Rosalie

**A/N: YAY! For a new chapter! Rosalie's thoughts are in italics. Okay I know we said ten and technically we only had nine but I decided to be nice and update. **

**Disclaimer: We still don't own the Cullen's but we do own Emily and Anna, and professor Wicks. **

**Rosalie's POV**

I was so pissed my phone died during lunch so I had nothing to do but listen to old professor Wicks drone on about the battle at Normandy. The same thing I had heard at least five times already. I was staring out the window when I hear the two humans that sit behind me talking, who also happen to be the two humans I hate the most; Emily and Anna. The two biggest bitches in the school were talking about me.

"OMG Emily! Did you see what Rosalie is wearing today?"

"Yes! Those moccasin boots are atrocious and do not go with her skirt!" Emily whisper back.

"I know! And her shirt is so low cut I can't if the lacey thing underneath is a tank top or her bra." Anna whispered.

"And who wears three quarter sleeves anymore. Ew. I don't what that Cullen sees in her." I suppressed a growl and the urge to rip their throats out when I heard Anna's answer.

"Probably big boobs, great ass and even better sex; That's all that slut is."

"I know! She probably only got into this AP class because her twin gave her all the answers to the test." _That bitch I am not a slut! And I know more about fashion then they could even imagine. _

_Don't kill the human. Don't kill the human. Don't kill the stupid humans! _

I felt a calmness spread over me. I looked up and gave Jasper a small smile, and said low enough for only he could hear me.

"Thanks Jasper."

**Fin Chapter**

**A/N: so what do you think? It wasn't as long typed as it was written…Review and tell us and you'll get updates!! We want a total of twenty three, counting Flotsum's review. **

**Flotsum & Jinx **

**Thanks so much to ****Em'sGirl23****ThrushflightEdward'sStalke****r, ****83Twilighter4life****HoneyBunch3****bluephoenix73**

**Our wonderful reviewers!**


	4. Jasper

**A/N: Okay I got bored waiting so I decided to post. Tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: We own nothing. **

**Jasper POV**

I could feel some pretty immense feelings of hate coming from Rosalie and they were only getting worse, so I sent her a calming wave.

When she visibly relaxed she looked up and gave me a small smile.

"Thanks Jasper." She said quiet enough for the humans not to be able to hear it.

"No problem Sis." I said with a small smile, which soon disappeared when I heard Emily Wolder and Anna Luis. They were clearly the reason for the hate radiating off of Rosalie.

"Speaking of her twin, I just don't understand why he's with that midget Alice. I mean seriously he's probably taller than her when he kneels!" Anna whispered to Emily who laughed. I growled quietly and Anna continued.

"You and him would be so much better together; Especially because you don't have to shop in the toddlers section." If I could have puked I would have at the thought of being with Emily and my Alice is amazingly gorgeous, plus Emmett really wanted to know so we found out and I'm about the same height of her when I kneel.

Anna and Emily laughed.

"I know! That whore doesn't deserve my Jazzy- Pooh!" I gagged at this. _Her_ Jazzy- pooh?

There were three things wrong with that sentence.

Alice is not a whore!

I am **NOT** nor will I ever be hers.

Jazzy-Pooh? No one but Emmett calls me that when he wasn't to piss me off.

_Don't kill the human. _"Не убивайте человека. Töten Sie den Menschen nicht."

"Jasper!" My head snapped up to find Rosalie standing in front of me.

"What?" I asked.

"Class ended two minutes ago and you just sat here look murderous and muttering in Russian and German. You alright?" She asked. I could tell she really did care. Contrary to what most people think Rose is actually very caring and nice….well mostly to us, her family that is, and orphans, she loves working at the orphanages.

"Yea, I'll be fine." I said standing and giving her a small smile.

**Fin Chapter**

**A/N: What do you think? O! The second don't kill the human is Russian and the last one is German. Review please!! **

**Flotsum & Jinx**

**Thanks to our wonderful reviewers: **LittleFairyAV, VintageLyre, RosalieHale123, ThrushflightEdward'sStalker, and Em'sGirl23! Thank you!!


	5. Bella

**A/N: Alright here's Bella! Remember this is after she's been changed, like ten to twenty years after. Thoughts are in italics. **

**Disclaimer: We own nothing. **

**Bella's POV**

I was sitting in AP French not really paying attention to anything, as were supposed to be working on our project, but Alice was 'using the ladies room.'

"Yea, so I'm going to ask Edward Cullen to the dance today after school." I heard Jaclyn Wopper told her friend Lizzi.

"I thought he was with the younger Hale. Bella or whatever her name is." _Good little Lizzi set your moronic friend straight. _

"He is, but I heard he's only with her because he feels bad for her." My eyes bulged. As if! Edward loves me!

"So when I ask him, he'll drop her like the bag of rocks she is and go out with moi." I growled, who does this girl think she is?!

"Oh! That's a good plan! You and Eddy will be so cute together!" Lizzi said. _Eddy?! Edward is __**definitely **__not Eddy. _

"I know with that slut out of the picture, this year will be the best year of high school.

_Slut?! What the hell?! Edward is the only guy I ever dated! Don't kill the human. _

"Ne ubiti čovječji. Facio non interficio homo!"

"Bella are you okay?" Alice asked sitting down across from me.

"Sure why do you ask?"

"Because when I came back you were repeating don't kill the human in Croatian and Latin." Alice explained.

"Oh, right, I'll be fine."

**Fin Chapter**

**A/N: We realize that the chapters are short, but they're suppose to be just that. So What do you think? Review! Please! **

**Thanks to: **.Bella.x.Swan., Em'sGirl23, IlovetheCullens4life, UknowUwishUwereBella, ThrushflightEdward'sStalker, RosalieHale123, QuickCookie, SuNgLaSsEs-ChI'c, insaneandproud, Truelove 4ever, Mrs. Edward Anthony Mas Cullen

**Our wonderful reviewers! **

**Flotsum & Jinx **


	6. Alice

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks so much for all the reviews!! Here's the next chappie!**

**Alice POV**

"Oh, right. Yea, I'm good." Bella told me. I raised an eyebrow,  
Bella is usually so well controlled, so this was a bit odd that she would be chanting don't kill the human in two different languages. I didn't say anything because her eyes were golden and she seemed fine now.

"What was that all about anyway?" I asked curious.

"Oh nothing, Wopper and Koles were talking about asking Edward out" I didn't hear the rest of her story since I slipped into a vision.

I was watching a scene play out in the history classroom where Jasper currently is.

I saw him sitting in his seat look murderous, muttering and Rose talking to him. He stood and they headed towards the door when Emily attached herself to my husbands arm, shot Rosalie a glare which Rose gladly returned. Emily turned to Jasper who looked like he was about to kill Emily.

"Jazzy, I was thinking, you and I should go to the dance together, don't you agree?" She asked then continued not waiting for Jasper's reply "I'm wearing a pale purple dress, so I want a white flowered corsage that are purple tipped. Oo, with glitter too." Rosalie smirked and Jasper detached himself from her and told her through gritted teeth. "First of all, don't touch me. Second I love Alice and am very happy with her, thirdly don't ever call me Jazzy ever again. Lastly, if you ever think about talking about Alice again like you did today, I will make you like a living hell." He started to leave and Rosalie smirked at Emily again and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Just so you're aware, it's a tank top." My vision ended before I could see Emily's face.

_Don't kill the human. _"Não Mate o Ser Humano. Μην σκοτώστε τον άνθρωπο"

"Alice? Where you even list- why are you saying don't kill the human?" Bella asked.

"Stupid Wolder was trying to hook up with Jasper." Bella lauged, "It seems like today is try to steal our husbands day…wonder if anyone has gone after Emmett." She mused.

"Yea…She called him JAZZY! Only I can call him that." I said through gritted teeth and Bella laughed. I glared at her for a moment before joining her.

Fin Chapter. 

**A/N: So what do you think? Second don't kill the human is Portuguese and the second is Greek. Review please!! Reviewsupdates! **

**Thanks to: **Bella.x.Swan., vampiressuck, NumberThirteen, twilightlovr, Truelove 4ever, secret reviewer, Jacob4eva, Mrs. Edward Anthony Mas Cullen, ThrushflightEdward'sStalker, heartnightmare1992, Pirateofthenight, IlovetheCullens4life, Jane Wen, leechlover192,

**Our Wonderful reviews that keep us writing! **

**Flotsum & Jinx **


	7. Esme

**A/N: Hey guys, only two chapters after this! Not a lot to say except thanks so much to everyone that reviewed! On with the chapter!**

**Esme's POV**

I love volunteer days at the hospital, I get to work with Carlisle all day and help sick people feel better! I was coming downstairs to Carlisle's office, when I saw some blond nurse trying to flirt with my husband. As neared I could hear her words.

"So Carly, do you want to get a drink after work?" Normally I'm very calm and well controlled but this pisses me off virtually everyone who works here knows Carlisle is married and has six kids!

"Sorry Avaleen, I don't drink and I have plans. And please don't call me Carly." Carlisle said in his adorable British accent.

"Oh, well maybe we can get together some other time." She said hopefully. _Don't kill the human. Don't kill the human. Don't kill the human._

I walked right up to Carlisle and kissed him full on.

He was slightly shocked at first but quickly got over that. When I pulled back Avaleen was glaring at me, I sweetly smiled back at her.

"Hey hun, I thought you were up in Pediatrics." Carlisle said.

"I was but I'm done early, I thought we could leave early and pick up the kids and maybe go away for the weekend." I suggested and Carlisle smiled.

"Sounds like a plan. I just have some paperwork to finish up then we can go."

Avaleen left at this time and Carlisle smiled wickedly.

"You were jealous weren't you?" I smiled and shrugged.

"I'll be back in a half hour." I said kissing him on the cheek.

**Fin chapter**

**A/N: Alright there was Esme's chapter. After this is Carlisle then a final chapter. Thanks so much to: **ThrushflightEdward'sStalker, sistergrimm2, RosalieHale123, Edwardzrule, TwilightStarLaughter, fullmentalheadache, NDBailey16, nightynightletedwardbite, Truelove 4ever, Psychotic Female of Many Na..., niftyyx3, vampiressuck, .Bella.x.Swan., and any one who we may have missed! You guys rock!!! Keep the reviews coming please!!

Much love!

Flotsum & Jinx

12.15.2007


	8. Carlisle

**A/N: A new chapter! We don't own anything. **

**Carlisle POV**

"I'll be back in a half hour." Esme said kissing my cheek before walking away.

I smiled, even after all this time she still gets jealous.

Just then Dr. Slone Webbler walked up from the direction Esme was going; he turned and slapped her ass. She turned around and slapped him across the face. My eyes grew huge.

"Carlisle, did you see that babe?! Man I would so tap that! Carlisle! Isn't she hott? Is she the new plastics nurse that used to be a pole dancer? Man, I can't imagine how good she is in bed! Carlisle?

_Don't kill the human. _"لا تقتل الانسان, Döda inte människan"

"What's that Carlisle?"

"I have uh…tapped that?" I said wondering if I had used the slang right.

"You have? You're so lucky!" Webbler said slapping my back.

"Yes, that's my wife!" I said through my teeth.

"Oh, sorry Dr. Cullen…I've...uh got a…appointment. With a patient. Dr. Cullen." Webbler stuttered and nodded to me before he left.

**Fin Chapter**

**A/N: so there was Carlisle's don't kill the human moment. The first language is Arabic and the second is Swedish. So what did you all think?? Let us know and review!! Thanks to: ****sistergrimm2****SuNgLaSsEs-ChI'c****TwilightStarLaughter****NDBailey16****Truelove 4ever****Em'sGirl23****Xx.maddy-sparx.xX****vampiressuck****IlovetheCullens4life****ThrushflightEdward'sStalker****Mrs. Edward Anthony Mas Cul...****.Bella.x.Swan.****Pirateofthenight**and Anyone I may have missed when typing this up.

**Who did review last time! The next chapter will be the last. **

**Much luv, **

**Flotsum & Jinx **


	9. Epilougeish thing

**A/N: Final chapter!!! **

**Alice POV**

Sixth period is my favorite class because its theater and all my siblings plus my husband are in it with me.

We were sitting in the back row of the auditorium talking at vampire speed when Professor Bedell called the class to order.

"This year our class production will be Romeo and Juliet." She announced. There was much excitement at this around the room, my siblings didn't care much, we already knew this.

"Quiet down." She said as her phone rang. "Bedell's theatre room." She paused then hung up after about twenty seconds.

"Mr.'s & Ms. Cullen, Mr. and Ms.'s Hale, your parents are at the front office. Pick up a script on your way out if you are interested in auditioning for a part. Have a good weekend." My siblings and I looked at each other, why were Carlisle and Esme here? Edward shrugged at our silent questions.

We made our way down to the office hand in hand with our respective spouses.

"What are you guys doing here?" Rosalie asked when we were with in earshot of our adoptive parents.

"We thought we'd go out of town for the weekend…maybe a bit longer." Esme said with a smile.

"Good idea." We said all at the same time.

"So how was your day?" Esme asked when we were all home to pack.

"Interesting." Rosalie, Bella, and I said. Carlisle raised an eyebrow.

"Don't kill the human?" He asked.

"Don't kill the human." We all laughed when the seven us said it in unison.

I smiled "We defiantly need to get out of town."

"So where are we going?" Edward asked.

"We were thinking of paying Aro, Marcus, and Caius a visit, for a two week vacation. We've let the school know." Carlisle said loading our bags into our custom made ten passenger hummer.

Rose, Bella, Esme, and I looked at each other and simultaneously yelled shopping! And our husbands groaned.

Get ready Italy, here come the Cullen's!

**Fin story**

**A/N: first we want to thank everyone who supported us and reviewed! Okay we know Bella doesn't like shopping but since she's a vampire in this we think she should like shopping now. Also I realize that technically Rosalie and Jasper are Hale's but we consider them Cullen's. We have an idea for a sequel; the poll is on our profile. Vote there! **


	10. Sequel News

**Sequel news!!! **

**Ok, so we ARE doing a sequel and it will be called Don't Kill the Cullen. It will be in point of views of Volturi members. If you have any specific pairings (i.e. Demetri getting rejected by Rosalie) PM us your ideas! **

**Hopefully the first chapter will be up here in a few days!**

**Flotsum & Jinx **


	11. Sequel is up!

Hey all!

Just wanted to let u know that the sequel is up!! Its Called Don't Kill the Cullen!! So be sure to check it out! (and we just updated Cullen Musical so check it out!)

Flotsum & Jinx


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